Friday, 9 October 2009

Motorway Mayhem

The nightmare journey down to Paignton for our son´s wedding...

Road-works, Road-works everywhere. We ran round like silly buggers this morning packing our “shared suitcase.” Which meant there were Tesco bags for other stuff of mine that wouldn’t fit in anyway. See, I told him to get the bigger one out, but to be fair we didn’t think there’d be so much tackle. Besides Tesco bags look so professional when you’re checking into a 4 star hotel. (Which turned out to be 3 stars). I’m sure it said “4 star” online.

The drive down was stress personified, as we were setting off the Sat Nav had “238 miles to go” on screen (comforting). Yet in hindsight I’m sure 200 of them were road works. The M6 wasn’t too bad, 3 lots there, but not any crazy stuff --- and as usual, not a workman in sight.

The M5 was a totally different, we reckoned they must’ve had every traffic cone in the country on there, so we ended up stopping off at services more than usual. (Whilst getting more and more hyped up on caffeine), rather than sitting on the motorway not going anywhere.

We went to one service station, and outside Dave said “It’s so quiet, you wouldn’t believe there’s a motorway over there would you?” Answer: “That’s probably because it’s just a massive car park at the moment dear.” We were however gobsmacked to see workmen there, I mean actually working, what an unusual sight.

TIP: If you've got cruise control in your car, and there's warnings about "average speed checks being monitored" set it just below the limit. Take your foot off the accelerator and you can't put a foot wrong as it were. Ours has never been used so much in one journey!

We arrived at the hotel about 7pm, it didn't quite meet our expectations, but never mind we had to laugh about it...

We got there much later than predicted, checked in, found the room through a series of tiny corridors, and we'd been given the wrong key… So back to reception. Right royal mix up with the rooms? Never mind. We dropped everything on the floor (in the room that matched the key), and walked round to a nearby pub for a meal. Later on the groom himself, Dave’s other son and the best man arrived, so we had a good old knees up.

We arrived back at the hotel after midnight and went to the bar. A singer with a luminous fake orange tan was doing a Shirley Bassey impersonation that didn’t quite work. I mean you could tell the poor woman wanted to sound like SB, she was trying – very trying.

As for attempting to get the ageing crowds boogying on down (babe), well forget it, besides most of them were asleep. After tittering at the bar for a while we went and sat outside, but we could still hear "Shirley." I think we were the youngest people in the hotel and we got some very strange looks, reverse ageism perhaps?

The only other “young” person there was the coach driver who bussed the old dears out here there and everywhere on a coach.

The room was very nice although it had an extra bed and a spare fire door that we never asked for. Oh and also had the added bonus of an INCREDIBLE NOISE from an extractor flu on the outside wall right next to our bed. Dave mentioned it at reception, we were told it comes from the kitchen and gets switched off after all meals have been served in the evening. Well that’s not so bad then, but what she omitted to tell us was that it comes on again at 6am for breakfast…

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