Thursday, 4 February 2010

Day four: Carry On Plumbing

Continuing from yesterday, remember that Dave had gone to the DIY store for various pipes / gubbins, and that it started snowing while he was out? (Bless).
Well the first place he went to they had all the right size fixings, elbow joints, knee joints, whatever. But they didn’t have the right size pipes to go with all the relevant bits they had on the shelves. How stupid is that?
Anyway, not to be deterred, he asked at customer services, and after the dipstick assistant had tapped away at a computer for five minutes, the potential for a minor miracle occurred:
“There’s some pipes the right size in the back, I’ll just go and get them for you”  says Dipstick.
Another 20 minutes floats by and the not highly intelligent Dipstick returned with precisely nothing, except the wimpy excuse, “Sorry sir I got it wrong.” 
Well it’s no surprise these days is it? I suppose we all just have to accept disorganised shoddy service around us, especially (for some reason) in hardware shops.
I do hope we never have to order another bathroom again, especially when I had to show the guy how to use his computer. Remember that song called “Murder on the Dance Floor?” Well I think I’m going to write a sequel to it called:
“Murder in the DIY Store.”
I digress,,, So Dave, (not Dipstick) had to go somewhere else. He’d been gone so long, I had visions of him coming back, getting covered in snow walking from the car to the boat with NOTHING. Thankfully I was wrong, he’d managed to get everything he needed to sort the plumbing in the cupboard. All from one place too, pipes, elbows, knees, whatever, the whole lot was brought on board. Wonders never cease eh? Even if it had taken him three times longer than he thought.
When he got back here a cup of tea was all it took to reclaim any lost enthusiasm, so he disappeared into the cupboard. “I’ll have to turn the water pump off” says he, “OK, I’ll just fill the kettle first” says me.
More cups of tea would be required. But within five minutes there was another problem, a potentially MASSIVE problem. I could hear gushing water spraying about everywhere – and with some force too, along with a variety of swear words. (Panic).
Then: “DID I SWITCH THE WATER PUMP OFF?” I knew he had, but checked it all the same, turns out he’d only gone and switched the Shower Pump off instead. So Heather came to the rescue, everything fell silent, but there was water all over half the bathroom, including all over (most of) Dave. Undeterred he carried on, and the picture of the snake pit yesterday was transformed into this, it’s called:
“After the flood…”
Even though a fan heater was required for several hours, it’s still not fully dry at the back.
And there was another comedy of errors later on (you’re not allowed to laugh at this). When I went to the shower block for um, a shower, I only managed to drop my clean clothes on the floor and wet them through. How did that happen?
Fortunately it was pitch dark outside, a blessing in disguise because there were only certain items of clothing I could actually wear on my way back to the boat.
Never rains but it pours eh…?

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