Sunday, 14 March 2010

Feeling Blue

Well folks, the life and soul of the party here has lost her sense of fun today. I’ve said before that I can find humour in anything, but there’s some things in life that just don’t come under that heading aren’t there?
Yesterday we said goodbye to Liam and Maddy at the airport, we’ve had a great week together, but it’s also been very poignant at times considering future circumstances. We were both strong as we said our tearful goodbyes, and fell apart when we got back to the boat. Our soldier is going to war in Afghanistan this year...

As we drove away from the airport afterwards I was ok, feeling empty of course, but in control, if that had been it for yesterday I would’ve been able to process it and move on but  didn’t get chance.

An hour or two later we heard about a family tragedy and went to pay our respects. I can’t disclose any details on my blog, but what I can say is how it affected me – I just crumbled and sobbed again. Dave wasn´t far behind. 

I haven’t been so upset for ages, it takes a lot to knock me down that way. There hasn’t been an occasion or a need to feel like that in years – even when things happen that aren’t so nice, I haven’t been so out of control emotionally. Shocked at the situation I was also shocked at my own reaction.

When we got back to the boat last night still in tatters, we both tried to make sense of things, thought we had and fell into bed. This morning I was still shaking and needed time to think, since then the tears have stopped, I’m just numb and thoughtful. We both are, but that’s a good thing because it means we’re dealing with it.
Don’t shy away from something that’s an issue for you, identify it, work through it, learn from it and move on – it’s easy said, not easy to do. But it works,, support from friends and family helps too…

“I’ll be back” (said Arnie).

PS: A genuine Happy Mothers Day to other mums out there. Even though mine’s been crap, I’m climbing up the ladder again now so it isn’t all bad…

No comments:

Post a Comment