Saturday, 5 June 2010

Re: I´ve discovered a complaint

Contrary to yesterday’s post we’ve come across a problem on the towpath, you know those trees we’ve moored up next to in order to shelter us from the breeze? (Of which there is none). Well beautiful as they are, they’re deliberately throwing millions of seeds at us. 
 
All the time…
 
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Hence the boat is covered in the darn things, both inside and out, but I have no proof because it’s not showing up on any photos. So you’ll have to just take my word for it…
 
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Up close and personal, the culprits…
 
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So here’s some prevention advice in case you’re parked up against any trees, (out of the breeze when there isn’t a breeze at all) and they think your boat is a great place to bring up their seedlings… Wear:
  • Nostril clips
  • Ear plugs
  • A mask
  • Keep your eyes shut
  • A hair net
  • Don’t bother pouring wine into a glass, just drink it straight out of the bottle
  • Don’t use sun cream – you’ll end up looking like a woolly mammoth
We’ve even had to carefully section off the luxury conservatory so we don’t shrivel up in the heat. Different sections are going up and down faster than a flea can jump.
 
We gave up chasing the seeds round ages ago because they don’t like to be caught until they turn into a bundle the size of a tumbleweed. And the anti-slip paint on the roof has readily accepted them, so the boat looks like it’s covered in a layer of snow. BUT I’ll be damned if I’m going out there plucking them off one by one. I’d still be here in a week’s time, never mind, get a bit of rain and we’ll have a forest growing up there. We came out here to RELAX so who cares.
 
Yes I know the simple answer is to move along a bit, but they move along a fair bit too, I´ve just noticed there’s 2 teasels floating about in my cup of tea(sel). All attempts to remove them have failed and they’ve just sunk, ah well they might enhance the flavour a bit.
 
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Well moving on from the teasing teasels – this IS one of the many reasons we’re here:
 
A truly stunning sunset on the Rufford canal last night…
 
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A pink volcano effect without any ash as the sun goes down behind the trees, blimey we’ve got enough of them to contend with…
 
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On reflection, WOW…
 
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Well I must go and pluck the mothballs, teasels and maybe the odd spiders web off me ball gown, because we’ve got friends on their way here in their boat. And some other friends coming by car (then a walk down the towpath) for a party / BBQ and a good old booze up.
 
So get your winter woollies out and be prepared for a cold front moving in bringing rain, wind, hail and snow at around 6pm tonight.
 
The logistics of how they all get here using various forms of transport was explained yesterday.
 
Well, I’ve just finished that cup of tea(sels), if I start sprouting leaves and branches tomorrow I’ll let you know…
 

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